ALCHEMIC BEAUTY - THREE LESSONS LEARNED FROM MY SON
Violets are like 1 and R, roses like A2.
E major is a cheerful sweet, also a deep blue.
D major’s mood is sour sad, bloody red its hue.
Scrumptious numbers, tactile words, all attest it’s true,
Perceptions of a synesthete sensationalize worldview.
Interpretation of Portrait of Armand Roulin by Vincent Van Gogh, 1888.
Colored pencil drawing by Ryan William Nies, 2010.
Introduction – The Alchemy of Beauty
Ryan, our special needs child who was gifted with synesthesia, lived his shortened life with sensational beauty that changed our lives. More on this later.
The arrival of spring is the seventh since his passing. Seven times has the hawthorn consoled me with its white blossoms. Seven times have the daffodils – planted in his memory – swayed saucily while winking at me; their yellow faces held audaciously high in the breeze. Seven times the redbud – embracing with gentle vermillion the woodland paths I walk – has transformed tenderly my deep grief into an even deeper gratefulness.
Three Lessons Learned
The glory of this spring beckons me to share three alchemic aspects of beauty – time, ritual, perception – Ryan taught to me, all without his saying a word.
I will say just a few words about the aesthetic power of the first two, time and ritual, to transform. I wish to leave more time to explore what Ryan taught me about beauty’s revealing and renewing power through his synesthetic perceptions of the world.
Time
Ryan lived his 29 years at home with us. He moved through life at a soulful pace. While always on time, he never rushed. He did his chores, his work, and his art all at the steady tempo of an internal clock.
He taught me that if I wished to appreciate the aesthetic richness of life, I must forgo chronic hurry. To truly see, I must fully attend. And beyond this, I must grant myself time to create. Be it kneading dough, tapping out a playful melody on the piano keys, or sculpting a new path through the woods down to the creek, beauty summons us to fashion our world with thoughtful care.
Ritual
Ritual ordered Ryan’s life. To survive within this oft-chaotic world, he cherished anticipating. He loved celebrating holidays and holy days that occurred regularly throughout the year.
His enthusiasm emboldened me to venture beyond the flatness of 24/7. Transform the drab! Take not things for granted! Convert the ordinary into rites of meaning! He forced me, due to his limitations, to break apart what might otherwise have been a dingy and frayed whole into understandable and doable fragments. And after much effort and training, when we reassembled them, the whole was shinier than ever before.
Perception
Ryan perceived the world in his special way.
People, like Ryan, who have synesthesia possess strong linkages among their five senses. These linkages augment and expand a single sensory input into multiple sensations.
For example, Ryan possessed sound/color synesthesia. When he heard a voice, a melody, or other sounds such as a dishwasher, it prompted color to appear in his mind. An E major chord or any melody played in the key of E evoked blue (his favorite color) in his mind’s eye. But not only this, he tasted the sweetness of sugar in his mouth and felt the mood of happiness in his heart. No wonder he appealed to me to transpose music into the key of E. This aesthetic advantage was especially pronounced when transposing music from the key of D, which to Ryan evoked the sad color red and was the sourest of keys.
Ryan also had grapheme/color synesthesia. He perceived distinct colors when looking at letters, numbers, and geometric shapes (graphemes). For him, the alphabet spelled out from a to z and the digits arranged from 0 to 9 created rainbows of color.
A and 2 always took on the color red, while R and 1 always appeared blue. The other letters and numbers in his mind’s eye were tinted either brown, orange, yellow, yellow-green, green, cerulean, blue or purple. For reasons unknown to me, some graphemes such as 7 or T remained immutably black.
While colors associated with shape remained fixed, context could make a huge difference in Ryan’s perception. For example, a circle took on a different color depending upon whether he perceived it as either the number zero (O = greenish-blue), a letter (O = red), or as a geometric figure (O = green).
I learned from him that reality was much richer, much grander than what is revealed by my perceptions alone. Conversely, my experience of the world’s beauty is enhanced when shared with others.
Final Thoughts
Beauty is real. Beauty has an alchemic power to uplift and transform our lives if we give it time and attention and allow it to expand our horizons. Quoting from my book Floriescence written with my wife Carmen after our son Ryan had passed away:
Beauty is noumenal – it exists in idealized forms, proportions, and harmonies. It is present independent of our senses.
Beauty is phenomenal – it inheres within tangible objects and flows through perceptible actions. It expresses its presence in ways observable to our senses.
Beauty is paradoxical – It is timeless and eternal; it is fleeting and ephemeral. It hits us with its startling immediacy; it beckons us to ponder for a lifetime. It is simplicity; it is intricacy. Jarring and comforting, novel and traditional, beauty is flagrantly obvious and subtly mysterious. Beauty begets beauty – beauty outside of us brings beauty within; beauty within us emanates beauty without.
Beauty heals. Beauty lifts our spirits and comforts our souls, calling us to live with dignity and grace. Beauty affords relief and resiliency in the face of catastrophe and emotional loss. Beauty grants us courage and perseverance in the face of injury, pain, and the vulgar realities of life. Beauty makes us long to be worthy of its call. Beauty makes us yearn to love and be loved.
As we emerge from an era of viral lockdown and loss, may the alchemic power of beauty comfort us and guide us into a future worthy of its call.
J. Dirk Nies, Ph.D. is a self-employed scientist, philosopher, business owner, newspaper columnist, book author, videographer, music composer, artisan, architect, and principal laborer at Sweet Blue Farm where he lives with Carmen Morales, his bride of 46 years. In 2014, Dirk launched the educational non-Profit Floriescence Institute where he currently serves as its Executive Director. www.Floriescence.org. Developed by Dirk, Floriescence is a groundbreaking, visionary synthesis of science, ethics, and aesthetics crafted to promote well-being in the 21st century.